1789: THE YEAR WE WERE COLONIZED BY FROOT LOOP MACARONI!

Yeah!! As planned, I’ll talk about a different, not-so-blatantly-political-maybe thing that happened in every year in-between presidential election seasons! And I’m starting with 1789! The year that Tommy Jeffyson brought over some crazy newfangled macaroni machine to the US of A!

He was obsessed with mac n’ cheese. It was a problem. He was even writing recipes and stuff see?!?!

6 eggs. yolks & whites. Use it all please. I’m not messing around with chicken fetuses okay!?
2 wine glasses of milk, cuz we’re using all the eggs okay?!
2 lb of flour, for floofyness
a little salt, yeah that nonsense is expensive.
work them together without water, and very well. Punch it. Just punch it. Pretend you’re Rocky. Roll it then with a roller to a paper thickness
cut it into small peices which roll again with the hand into long slips, & then cut them to a proper length.
put them into warm water a quarter of an hour.
drain them of life.
dress them as maccaroni for the school play.
but if they are intended for soups they are to be put in the soup & not into warm water you silly goose!

Yeah, that recipe right there came from the Library of freakin’ Congress alright!? Don’t believe me?! THEN WHAT OTHER REASON WOULD I WRITE THAT OTHER THAN TO CITE THE SOURCE HMMMMM?!!??!!??!!??!?!?

LIKE I KNOW I’M NOT CREDIBLE BUT YOU CAN TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!

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