Thomas Pickney: Settler of Petty Squabbles

This is the last Picaninny and the last Carolina candidate for this 1796 realness alright!? It is amazing how little you had to do to be considered for the presidency back then. Like nowadays a single treaty isn’t gonna cut it. It’s almost like the country was just starting to become a country or something.

James Iredell: The All-American Hipster Judge!

Why is this man such a powerhouse of a human?!? No really. I’m dumbfounded. He literally did everything before it was trendy… Like James Iredell had some sociopolitical precognitive abilities that were kinda ridiculous okay?! This one’s for the people who liked Mark Ronson before he got a Grammy, yo.

Charles Cotesworth Pickney: The Farmer who Hates the Poor

Frankly, this dude wasn’t an enjoyable human being for the most part. Like his extraordinariness pales in comparison to almost all the other election candidates I’ve covered so far. Maybe it’s cuz his story so far is atypical enough to not be unusually typical… And vice-versa… Maybe after this election passes, if Picaninny is a candidate […]

1795: KAAAAA! MEEE! HAA! MEE! HAAAAAAAAA!

On this Mother’s Day, I’m giving you the Mother of all epic historical Hawaiian stories! Behold and tremble in the face of KING KAMEHAMEHA!! I would say more but you really gotta hear this amazing story for yourself! Next week… WE’RE BACK TO THE BIOGRAPHIES!

1794: BILLY MAYS HERE!! WITH THE KING COTTON!!

I mean I guess Eli Whitney didn’t intend to start a civil war with his invention… But arguably that’s literally what happened.  so when you go to The Eli Whitney Museum in Connecticut, be inventive… But be mindful. It’s a real-life cautionary tale about the risks that come with innovation!