John Jay: Divider of Countries

If you’re interested in the origins of American Political Parties… Well let me tell you, this dude is one of the reasons why. Like a couple more seeds for Civil War are planted HERE! RIGHT HERE! They’re tiny seeds BUT STILL. John Jay is a real whippersnapper he is!! It’s all old news until the […]

Thomas Pickney: Settler of Petty Squabbles

This is the last Picaninny and the last Carolina candidate for this 1796 realness alright!? It is amazing how little you had to do to be considered for the presidency back then. Like nowadays a single treaty isn’t gonna cut it. It’s almost like the country was just starting to become a country or something.

James Iredell: The All-American Hipster Judge!

Why is this man such a powerhouse of a human?!? No really. I’m dumbfounded. He literally did everything before it was trendy… Like James Iredell had some sociopolitical precognitive abilities that were kinda ridiculous okay?! This one’s for the people who liked Mark Ronson before he got a Grammy, yo.

Charles Cotesworth Pickney: The Farmer who Hates the Poor

Frankly, this dude wasn’t an enjoyable human being for the most part. Like his extraordinariness pales in comparison to almost all the other election candidates I’ve covered so far. Maybe it’s cuz his story so far is atypical enough to not be unusually typical… And vice-versa… Maybe after this election passes, if Picaninny is a candidate […]

1795: KAAAAA! MEEE! HAA! MEE! HAAAAAAAAA!

On this Mother’s Day, I’m giving you the Mother of all epic historical Hawaiian stories! Behold and tremble in the face of KING KAMEHAMEHA!! I would say more but you really gotta hear this amazing story for yourself! Next week… WE’RE BACK TO THE BIOGRAPHIES!

1794: BILLY MAYS HERE!! WITH THE KING COTTON!!

I mean I guess Eli Whitney didn’t intend to start a civil war with his invention… But arguably that’s literally what happened.  so when you go to The Eli Whitney Museum in Connecticut, be inventive… But be mindful. It’s a real-life cautionary tale about the risks that come with innovation!

1793: Black Girl Magic vs. Yellow Fever!

Okay so like 5,000 people died in Philly over four months as an unexpected result of the Haitian Revolution and everybody looked to black women to save the day cuz the technology wasn’t advanced enough to figure out the real reason for the spread of this literal virus. That sentence was absurdly long, but that […]

ELECTION #2!

Oh yeah! This time I’m talking about the second Presidential Election!!!!! Or am I?!!??! I covered what was happening election-wise in the past three episodes and there weren’t any major ballot rigging shenanigans like last time. So because there wasn’t much more to say… I ABRUPTLY changed the topic to something you probably wanted me to […]